Tiyeni tsopano tione funso lofunikira kwambiri lokhunza mitala. Mitala ndi chikhalidwe chakale kwambiri chomwe chimachitika pakati pa anthu, ndipo Baibulo silinatsutse kalikonse pankhani ya mitala, komanso Chipangano Chakale ndi malemba a ma Rabbi nthawi zambiri zimatsimikizira kuti mitala ndi yolondola.

Zinalembedwa kuti Mfumu Solomo inali ndi akazi 700 ndi adzakazi 300 (1 Mafumu 11:3). Komanso, mfumu Davide inali ndi akazi ambiri ndi adzakazi (2 Samueli 5:13). Chipangano Chakale chiri ndi malamulo a momwe chuma cha mwamuna chingagawidwire pakati pa ana aamuna ochokera mwa akazi osiyanasiyana (Deut. 22:7). Kuletsa kokhako komwe kukupezeka pa mitala ndiko kutenga mchemwali wa mkazi ngati wachiwiri (Levitiko 18:18). Talmud imalangiza kutenga akazi osapyola anayi, 51 ndipo Ayuda a ku Ulaya (Europe) anapitiriza kuchita mitala mpaka zaka za mma 16th century. Pomwe Ayuda a Kummaŵa (Asia) anali kupanga mitala mpaka pamene anafika ku Israeli komwe anapeza kuti mitala ndiyoletsedwa malinga ndi malamulo a boma. Komabe, poti mitala ndiyololedwa ndi malamulo a chipembedzo omwe ndi amphamvu kuposa a boma, inasanduka kukhala yololedwa kwathunthu. 52

Kodi nanga Chipangano Chatsopano chikuti bwanji? Malinga ndi Bambo Eugene Hillman m’buku lake lomveka bwino, mitala inawunikidwanso kuti, “Mchipangano Chatsopano mulibemo lamulo lolongosola kuti ukwati uyenera kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi yekha, kapenanso lamulo lililonse loletsa mitala.” 53

Komanso, Yesu sananene zotsutsa mitala, poti izi zinkachitikanso ndi Ayuda a mtundu wake. Bambo Hillman akugogomezera kuti Mpingo wa ku Roma unaletsa mitala ncholinga chofuna kuti azitsatira chikhalidwe cha Agiriki a Chiroma (chomwe chinalamula mwamuna kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi yekha, pomwe mbali ina chinaloleza kugona ndi adzakazi komanso mahule). Iye anatchula mau a Augustine Woyera oti: “Tsopano pakali pano, mogwirizana ndi mwambo wa Chiroma, sitilolanso kutenga mkazi wina.” 54

Mipingo ndi Akhristu a ku Afrika nthawi zambiri amawakumbutsa abale awo a ku Ulaya kuti kuletsa kwa mitala si chilamulo cha m’Baibulo koma chikhalidwe chomwe sichikuchokera mu Chikhristu.

Qur’an nayonso inaloleza mitala ndipo inaika malire:

Qur’an 4:3: Ngati  mwaopa kuti simungachite chilungamo pa amasiye (opaninso kusawachitira chilungamo akazi pamitala), choncho kwatirani amene mukuwafuna mwa akazi; awiri, kapena atatu, kapena anayi (basi). Koma ngati mukuopa kuti simungathe kuchita chilungamo, (kwatirani) mmodzi basi kapena amene manja anu akumanja adapeza (mdzakazi). Kutero kudzakuchititsani kuti musapendekere (kumbali yosalungama).

Qur’an inachepetsa chiwerengero cha akazi kukhala anayi, ndikuika lamulo lokhwima lomwe ndi kuchitira chilungamo akazi powapatsa ufulu wawo moyenera. Pamenepa sitiyenera kumva molakwika kuti Qur’an ikulamula okhulupirira kuti azichita mitala, kapena kuti mitala ndi yopambana kwambiri. Mukuyankhula kwina, Qur’an “inalaloleza” mitala basi .. koma chifukwa chiyani mitala ndiyololedwa? Yankho lake ndi losavuta: pali malo komanso nthawi zomwe zimakhala ndi zifukwa pakati pa anthu, zomwe ndizomveka kuti mitala ichitike. Monga momwe vesi la Qur’an lija likumvekera, nkhani ya mitala Mchisilamu singamveke pokhapokha titamayang’ana mmene ana ndi akazi amasiye amakhalira. Choncho, Chisilamu pomakhala chipembedzo cha chilengedwe chonse komanso choyenera malo ndi nthawi zonse, sichikananyalanyaza mavuto amenewa.

Mmaiko ambiri, akazi ndi ochuluka kuposa amuna, ku United States kuli akazi akuposa amuna ndi pafupifupi 8 million. Pomwe dziko monga Guinea,  muli akazi 112 pa mwamuna mmodzi aliyense ndipo ku Tanzania kuli amuna okwanira 95.1 pa akazi 100.  55

Kodi anthu angapange bwanji pofuna kuthetsa vuto limeneli? Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zomwe anthu amaganiza, monga kukhala osakwatira, ndipo ena amaganiza kuti ana akazi aziphedwa akangobadwa (ichi ndi chikhalidwe chakale komanso chomwe chimachitika mmadera ena nthawi zino). Ena amaganiza kuti njira yabwino ndikungololera kuti anthu adzigonana; pochita chiwerewere, kugonana kunja kwa banja, kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ndi zina zotero. Kwa anthu ena monga aku Africa, njira yothetsera vutoli ndi kulola ukwati wa mitala kukhala wovomerezeka mu chikhalidwe cha anthu. Mfundo yomwe nthawi zambiri simamvetsetsedwa ndi maiko a Kumadzulo ndiyakuti amayi amitundu ina samaona kuti mitala ndi njira yowanyozetsa iwo. Mwachitsanzo, atsikana ambiri a Chikhristu ngakhale a Chisilamu, amalola kukwatiwa ndi munthu wokwatira kale, ngati ali ndi zomuyenereza kukhala mwamuna wake, ndipo amayi ambiri a mu Africa amawalimbikitsa amuna awo kutenga mkazi wachiwiri, kuti asamasungulumwe  nthawi zambiri.  56

Zotsatira za kafukufuku wa amayi oposa 6,000 a zaka zapakati pa 16 ndi 59 womwe unachitika mumzinda wawukulu ku Nigeria, zinawonetsa kuti amayi 60 pa 100 aliwonse (60%) angakhale okondwa ngati amuna awo atakwatira mkazi wina. Koma amayi 23% okha ndamene anaonetsa nkwiyo pa mfundo ya kugawana mwamuna wawo ndi mkazi wina. Mu zotsatira za kafukufuku yemweyu ku Kenya, amayi 75% anavomereza kuti mitala ndi yabwino. Ndipo kafukufuku yemwe anachitika kumadera a kumidzi mdziko la Kenya, anawonetsa kuti amayi pakati pa 25 ndi 27% anawona kuti mitala ndiyabwino kuposa kukwatira mkazi mmodzi. Iwo anaona kuti mitala ikhoza kukhala yosangalatsa komanso yopindulitsa ngati akazi awiriwo atamagwirizana. 57

Mmaiko ambiri ku Africa mitala imalemekezedwa moti mpaka mipingo ina yochokera mu Chikhristu inayama kuvomereza. Bishopu wa mpingo wa Anglican ku Kenya ananena kuti, “Ngakhale kuti kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi yekha kungakhale koyenera posonyezana chikondi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, mpingo uyenera kuganizira kuti mmadera ena mitala ndi sivuto, komanso chikhulupiliro chakuti mitala ikusemphana ndi malamulo a Chikhristu ndichosatheka.” 58

Pambuyo pa maphunziro a za mitala ku Africa, M’busa David Gitari wa mpingo wa Anglican anatsimikiza kuti mitala, monga momwe imachitikira, ndi mwambo wa Chikhristu kuposa kusudzulana ndi kukwatira kachiwiri, kuchitira kupezeka kwa mkazi ndi ana omwe anasiyidwa ndi mmwamuna yemwe anamwalira. 59

Ineyo, mwandekha ndikudziŵa akazi ena a ku Africa omwe aphunzira kwambiri, koma ngakhale kuti akhala kumaiko a Kumadzulo zaka zambiri, sakuwona vuto lirilonse pa mitala. Mmodzi wa iwo, amene akukhala ku U.S., amalimbikitsa mwamuna wake kuti amupezere mkazi wachiwiri kuti adzithandizana naye kulera ana.

Vuto la kusagwirizana kwa chiwelengero cha amuna ndi akazi kumafika povuta nthawi za nkhondo; mitundu yachimwenye ya ku America inkavutika kwambiri ndi kusiyana kwa chiwelengeroku pambuyo pogonja kunkhondo; amayi ochokera mmenemu omwe mbuyomo anali kusangalala ndi mawanja awo, anayamba kulola kutengedwa pa mitala ndipo imeneyo inali njira yopambana kwa iwo pa kutuluka mmavuto omwe anali kukumana nawo pambuyo pakumwalira amuna awo kunkhondo. Anthu omwe anakhanzikika ku Ulaya (Europe) adatsutsa mitala ya chimwenyeyi popanda kupereka njira ina yabwino, ndipo anaitcha kuti ndi “chikhalidwe chotsalira”. 60

Pambuyo pa nkhondo yachiwiri yapadziko lonse, ku Germany kunapezeka amayi 7.3 miliyoni kuposa amuna, ndipo 3.3 miliyoni mwa iwo anali amasiye. Kunapezeka kuti pa amuna 100 a zaka zapakati pa 20 ndi 30 amalingana ndi akazi 167 kuchokera mchiwelengerochi. 61

Aliyense mwa akaziwa, amafunikira mwamuna, osati kuti angokhala mzake chabe,  koma kuti adziwathandizira pabanja nthawi ya mavuto ogwa mwadzidzidzi. Choncho asirikali a magulu ankhondo omwe ankapambana, anali kutengerapo mwayi pa amayiwo akadziwa kuti amuna awo aphedwa. Atsikana komanso amayi ena amasiye anali kupeza zibwenzi kuchokera mwa ogwira ntchito mmalo agulu lankhondo, ndipo asirikali ambiri a ku America ndi Britain anali kuwalipira atsikana ndi amayiwp fodya, chokoleti ndi mikate (bread) pambuyo pochita nawo zadama. Ana anali kusangalala kwambiri ndi mphatso zomwe alendowo anali kuwabweretsera. Mwana wamwamuna wazaka 10 amati akamva za mphatso zoterozo kuchokera kwa ana ena, anali kufunisitsa kuchokera mu mtima wake wonse, kuti awapereke mayi ake kwa mzungu, ncholinga choti akagona nawo ampatse mwanayo chokoleti, asakhalenso ndi njala. 62

Tichifunse chikumbumtima chathu: kodi ndi chiyani chomwe chimalemekeza mkazi? Kukhala mkazi wachiwiri wovomerezedwa  komanso wolemekezeka monga momwe amwenye aja ankachitira, kapena kukhala mkazi wachiwerewere monga momwe ankachitira ena aja? Mukufunsa kwina titere: kodi ndi chiyani chomwe chimalemekeza mkazi? Qur’an kapena maphunziro aumulungu ochokera mu chikhalidwe cha Ufumu wa Roma? 63

Nzochititsa chidwi kuti pamsonkhano wapadziko lonse wa achinyamata womwe unachitikira mumzinda wa Munich mchaka cha 1948, vuto la kusiyana kwa chiwerengero cha amuna ndi akazi ku Germany linakambidwa. Ndipo pamene zinaonekera kuti palibe njira yothetsera vutoli yomwe angagwirizane, ena ananena kuti njira yabwino ndiko kukwatira mitala. Zotsatira za msonkhanowo zidasakanikirana kusokonezeka mitu ndi kusasangalatsa pamene ena anapereka maganizo oyamikira mitala yomwe ambiri anali kudana nayo. Komabe, pambuyo pa kafukufuku wakuya potsatira maganizo aja, onse anagwirizana kuti mitala ndiyo njira yokhayo yothetsera vutoli. Pamapeto a zonse, mitala inaikidwa mu zotsatira zomaliza za msonkhano.

Dziko lapansi lero lino liri ndi zida zochuluka zowononga kuposa kale, ndipo pakhalekhale, mipingo ya ku Ulaya ikhoza kuwumirizidwa kuvomereza mitala ngati njira yokhayo yothetsera mavuto. Zimenezi ngakhale Bambo Hillman adazilingalira motere: “Ndizotheka kuti njira zowononga pogwiritsa ntchito nyukiliya, zachilengedwe komanso mankhwala zikhonza kubweretsa vuto lakusiyana kwa amuna ndi akazi, ndipo kukwatira akazi angapo kungakhale njira yopulumukira. Kotero, akuluakulu azamulungu ndi atsogoleri a tchalitchi ayenera kupereka mwamsanga zifukwa zodalirika ndi malemba a m’Baibulo kuti aikire umboni lingaliro latsopano laukwati.” 64

Mitala ikupitilirabe mpaka pano kukhala yankho lothandizira ku mavuto ena a pakati pa wanthu. Zolinga zololezera mitala zomwe Qur’an inanena, zikuwonekera kwambiri mmayiko ena a Kumadzulo kuposa ku Africa. Mwachitsanzo, ku United States masiku ano kuli mavuto aakulu pakati pa amuna ndi akazi achikuda; mnyamata mmodzi mwa 20 aliwonse amamwalira asanakwanitse zaka 21. Pomwe kwa iwo omwe ali ndi zaka zapakati pa 20 ndi 35, kudzipha ndikumene kumachuluka. 65 Vuto lina ndi kusowa kwa ntchito pakati pa amuna achikuda, ena kundende kapena makhwala ozunguza bongo. 66

Mapeto ake, mmodzi mwa akazi anayi akuda a zaka 40 amapezeka kuti sanakwatiwepo, poyerekeza ndi mmodzi mwa akazi khumi. 67 Komanso, atsikana ambiri achikuda amayamba kukhala amayi osakwatiwa asanakwanitse zaka 20, ndikumakhala osowa chithandizo. Mapeto enieni a mavuto onsewa ndi oti chiwerengero chochuluka cha akazi akuda amapezeka akulowa mchikhalidwe chotchedwa ‘man-sharing'(kugawana mwamuna). 68 Izi zikutanthauza kuti ambiri mwa akazi osaukawa amangogonana ndi amuna okwatira, ndipo azikazi awo samadziwa kuti akusinthana mwamuna wawo ndi akazi ena. Akatswiri ena omwe amaona izi zikuchitika pakati pa anthu akuda ku America, akulimbikitsa kuti mitala yovomerezedwa ikhale njira yongogwirizira kaye pa vuto la kuchepa kwa amuna, mpaka pamene zinthu zidzasinthe pakati pa anthu ku Americako. 69

Kunena kuti mitala yovomerezedwa, akutanthauza mitala yomwe imaloledwa ndi anthu komanso omwe akuchita mitalawo (mwamuna ndi mkazi), agwirizana. Zimenezi zikusiyana ndi ­‘man-sharing’ zomwe zimaipitsa mkazi ndi anthu onse. Vuto la ‘man-sharing’ pakati pa ma American achikuda, linali mutu wofunikira kwambiri pa zokambirana zomwe zinachitika ku Temple University ku Philadelphia pa January 27, 1993. 70

Ena mwa oyankhulawo analimbikitsa zoti mitala ikhale njira yothetsera vutoli. Ananenanso kuti mitala sikuyenera kuletsedwa, makamaka pakati pa anthu omwe amalola za uhule. Kuchokera mu ndemanga ya mmodzi mwa amayi omvera, anati achikuda a ku America akuyenera kutengera chitsanzo ku Africa komwe mitala imachitidwa moyenera, ndipo zimachititsa kuti anthu aziitamanda mokondwera.

Philip Kilbride, Anthlopologist wa Roman Catholic ku America, m’buku lake lotchedwa: Plural Marriage in Our Time anapereka maganizo kuti mitala ingakhale njira yothetsera mavuto ena pakati pa anthu ku Amerian, ndipo ananenetsa kuti mitala ikhonza kukhala njira yabwino kuposa chisudzulo pofuna kuthetsa zotsatira zoipa zomwe zimagwera ana amasiye chifukwa cha kusudzulana. Iye anati zisudzulo zambiri zimachitika kamba kazibwenzi zomwe zimachitika kunja kwa banja. Malinga ndi Kilbride, kuthetsa mchitidwe wa zibwenzi pokwatira mitala kulibwino kusiyana ndi kusudzulana, ndipo ubwino waukulu umabwelera kwa ana, “Ana amasamalika bwino ngati mikakangano ya m’banja ingakhale yochepa.” Komanso iye anawonjezera kuti magulu ena a anthu akhonza kupindula ndi mitala monga: amayi achikulire omwe akukumana ndi vuto la kusoŵa kwa amuna, komanso amayi achikuda omwe amachita mchitidwe wa man-sharing (kusinthana amuna apabanja). 71

Mu 1987, nyuzipepala ya ophunzira pa yunivesite ya California ku Berkeley idafunsa ophunzira kuti apange mavoti pa kuvomereza kapena kutsutsa zoti boma lilole amuna kuti adzikhala ndi akazi angapo malinga ndi kuchepa kwa chiwelengero cha amuna mu California. Pafupifupi ophunzira onse omwe anafunsidwa anagwirizana nazo. Ndipo ophunzira mmodzi wamkazi anaonjezera kuti banja lamitala lingakwaniritse zofuna zake zamaganizo ndi zakuthupi pamene akumpatsa ufulu wokwanira, kusiyana ndi banja la mkazi mmodzi. 72

Mfundo yomweyi ikugwiritsidwanso ntchito ndi amayi a chi Mormon omwe akupitiriza mawanja a mitala ku US. Amakhulupilira kuti mitala ndiyo njira yabwino kuti mkazi athe kugwira ntchito ndikusamalira ana, poti amakhala akuthandizana posamalira anawo. 73

Tikuyenera kudziwano kuti mitala Mchisilamu imatheka pakugwirizana, palibe yemwe angamukakamize mkazi kuti akwatiwe ndi mwamuna wokwatira kale. 74

Koma Baibulo, nthawi zina limakakamiza mkazi kukwatiwa pa mitala; mkazi wamasiye ayenera kukwatiwa ndi mchimwene wa mwamuna wake, ngakhale atakhala kuti ali ndi mkazi wina (onani “Mavuto a Akazi Amasiye”), mosasamala za kulola kapena kukana kwake (Genesis 38: 8-10). Ndiye tidziwenso kuti mmaiko ambiri a Chisilamu lero lino mitala ndiyochepa poti mpata wa kusiyana kwa pakati pa chiwelengero cha amuna ndi akazi ndi wochepa. Ndipo munthu akhonza kunena kuti chiwelengero cha mitala mmaiko a Chisilamu ndi chochepa kwambiri poyerekeza ndi chiwelengero cha zibwenzi mmaiko a Kumadzulo. Mukuyankhula kwina, amuna a mmaiko a Chisilamu masiku ano ndi osamalitsa kwambiri kuposa amuna a Kumadzulo. 75

Billy Graham, mlaliki wamkulu wa Chikhristu, ananena kuti: “Chikhristu sichingamvetsetse mitala, ndipo ngati Chikhristu chalero sichingakwanitse kutero, ndiye kuti chikudziononga chokha. Chisilamu chidalola mitala ngati njira yothetsera mavuto pakati pa anthu, ndipo chidaika malamulo oti athu adziyendera pa chikhalidwe cha mitala. Mayiko a Chikristu amaonetsera kuti akupanga za kukwatira mkazi mmodzi yekha, pomwe kwenikweni sakutero. Palibe yemwe sadziwa zomwe akazi achibwenzi amachita ku maiko a Kumadzulo. Chisilamu ndi Chipembedzo cha chilungamo ndipo chimalola Msilamu kukwatira mkazi wachiwiri ngati akuyenera kutero, koma chimaletsa mikumano yachinsinsi pakati pa amuna ndi akazi omwe sali pabanja, kuti ateteze khalidwe la anthu”.

Nzodabwitsa kuona kuti maiko ena oti si a Chisilamu ngakhalenso ena a Chisilamu, anachotsa lamulo la mitala, ponena kuti kutenga mkazi wachiwiri ngakhale ndi chilolezo cha mkazi woyamba, ndiko kuphwanya lamulo. Ndipo mbali ina, kuchita chinyengo mkazi kuli kovomerezeka mokwanira malinga ndi lamulo! Kodi pali nzeru yanji pa kudzitsutsa kwa malamulo koteroko? Kodi lamulo linakhonzedwa ncholinga cholipira zachinyengo ndikulanga chilungamo? Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zosamvetsetseka mudziko lathu lotulukali.

Hijaab